Changes

 

 

Just a gentle shove, a genuine mistake this time. She just forgot the ‘new way’ briefly but she does that a lot these days.  Forgetting.

I’m gradually being accepted and treated like a part of the family, our family, again. We were so young, far to young to be taken from our natural mum. We couldn’t stay, stay and thrive though, not with how things were. So were adopted and brought here.  A lovely home, much bigger than ours but then we had only known our mothers arms ….. briefly.

I’m still not sure if it was truly an accident the night my brother, Eric was found hanging to within an inch of his life.  Maybe he climbed so high, deliberately.  Maybe he had not ‘slipped’ so his neck was being slowly crushed. They saved him that night. Then there was the night of his mysterious accident a few months later.  Missing for almost 3 days, searches had started, he was so young you see.  I think it was around midnight when he arrived on the doorstep, covered in filth and with what we later discovered to be multiple fractures including his pelvis.  Looking back I think that’s when things changed.

I seemed to start to be in the way a lot, under her feet she used to say.  Of course she would always apologise and say how much she loved me after the ‘accidents’. Kicked me off my feet at times I remember. Strange how Eric was involved in far fewer accidents than me. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t resentful.  It wasn’t his fault after all.

Suddenly she started to be home more.  No longer left all day to fend for ourselves. Days, then weeks turned into months and now years.  Finally she was getting to know us more.  The accidents became less.

Eric of course fought to kept up the dominance he had so slyly achieved. He didn’t like the ‘new way’ too much at first.  The cuddles, the treats he had to share.  I was getting noticed, it filled me with joy.

Neither of us knew how poorly she really had been of course. You don’t see mental illness like a broken bone or a limp do you.

To be continued ?

Would you want to hear more?  ALL critique welcome.