Stuck

Almost 3 years but finally I got to see the rheumatology department after so many other consultants/specialists and the conclusion, without boring your rigid, is Fibromyalgia with differential diagnosis of MS, osteoarthritis, trigeminal neuralgia, cognitive/memory issues and anxiety they keep saying I suffer with although I dispute that one!   I was already well aware of most and re the fibro, well I suspected that too.  How weird it is to somehow feel better with the diagnosis. I feel I can now move on, as if being ‘labelled’ validates my head stuff?  I so know thats not right but hey ho, does it really matter … I think not actually.

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Ooh my words are not yet flowing but it will come, I am determined!  Photo just a random one when a lovely rainbow appeared outside our front and I love rainbows so please indulge me.  To me it represents the brighter future I now have…… I just need to convince myself its all real as my ‘reality’ is so stuck in the bad old days I think?  Days I must have got so used to, that became my whole being I suppose because the now, my future is positive, good and could even be fantastic IF I can get un stuck?  Disbelief?

What am I waiting for, what is going to push me, I’m wasting precious time…. unable to move forward……stuck.

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