I woke to the tiny little wrens singing, no ‘people’ noise, I knew it was Sunday. I made a cup of tea while my partner quietly caught up on desperately needed sleep. A light frost was present, the blue sky was merely dotted with puffy bright white clouds. Yes it was cold but somehow I did not feel it, I just sat and cleared my mind. If this was meditation, it felt good.
Tomorrow I have to find so much strength, clarity, understanding and self worth. I may as well be heading for some big first appearance in front of thousands and yet I just have to face my employers and not accept their behaviour or at least I now need to have answers, dates, times, deadlines. I have to be the one taking charge, asking questions, setting deadlines, something I have never done before. Honestly it terrifies me but I must not show that. I must not crumble.
I also need to ‘man up’ and get some proper help when it comes to at last dealing with the debt. I will find free professional help and move forward. Oh hell, just reading this back is scary but I MUST do it all.
You can do it Anne
yes you can
you are stronger than you think
it will be fine
your journey is at a crescendo
ride it with strength
(look forward to what comes after)